14 de julio de 2008

CUESTIÓN DE TAMAÑO


El tamaño del miembro viril masculino es un tema recurrente en conversaciones íntimas y trasnochadas, que da lugar a cotilleos sonrientes y bochornosos según sea el implicado y la dimensión del mismo. Por unanimidad popular, se puede afirmar que el tamaño importa, aunque luego existan otros factores (el movimiento, el grosor, la erección…) que puedan influir por encima de la medida. Pero en general, por muy prosaico que suene, se prefiere burro grande, ande o no ande.

A la vista está que es un tema que preocupa especialmente a la población masculina independientemente de su credo u orientación sexual. A las pruebas me remito, ya que la operación de estética masculina más realizada en la actualidad es la del alargamiento y engrosamiento de pene, y los anuncios sobre las clínicas que ofrecen estos servicios inundan las bandejas de entrada de nuestros mails.

Aunque no hay pruebas definitivas que relacionen directamente la etnia y el tamaño del pene, está totalmente aceptado que existen diferencias físicas (y de penes, que es a lo que voy) entre las razas o grupos de distinto origen étnico. No es un mito que los negros la tienen más grande o que los asiáticos (especialmente coreanos e indios) están considerablemente por debajo de la media, sino la cruda y descompensada realidad masculina. También existen pruebas que sugieren que el tamaño de los pies y de las manos guarda alguna relación con el tamaño del pene; el de la nariz, no.

En cuanto a la realidad nacional, la estadística dice que los españoles nos encontramos dentro de la media pero sin ser mediocres. Un pene erecto considerado normal mide entre 14 y 17,5 cm, los umbrales inferiores y superiores sorprende para bien o para mal (por ejemplo, sólo un 2% de la población masculina supera los 20cm). Y no nos engañemos, que la mayoría de los hombres nos hemos medido alguna vez el pene y sabemos la talla que gastamos.

Si bien lo más divertido y cotilleado de las conversaciones fálicas es el momento en que se dan nombres y apellidos, me voy a guardar la información confidencial desvelada por mis informantes y limitar a la rumorología que ha llegado a mis oidos concerniente a personajes conocidos.

En los mentideros sociales de izquierdas se comenta que nuestro director más internacional tiene lo que se conoce como vaso de tubo, sin embargo, no es muy diestro en su manejo (McNamara se encargó de difundirlo). Y en los mentideros indies se rumorea por varios frentes que los Planetas J y Florent están muy bien dotados, especialmente este último, que Guille Mostaza del grupo Ellos no se queda a la zaga, por el contrario Coque Malla se la tiene que buscar cuando va a mear. En los vestuarios de los estadios de la Liga de las Estrellas se habla mucho de los paquetones de Iván Helguera y Cañizares, de que Raúl y Casillas la tienen muy normalita tirando a pequeña, y de que a Arancha de Benito se lo tienen que contar porque casi ni se entera. La herramienta de Vicente del Bosque es, por otro lado, de las que dan miedo. En el mundo de la interpretación la cosa no es muy boyante, y de lo que más se habla es de las minipichas de Jordi Mollá, Eloy Azorín y Pablo “cuentamele” Rivera. En cambio, lo de Eduardo Noriega tiene otro nombre: Un señor pollón. En el mundo taurino, siempre muy viril y marcado, se comenta que los vástagos de Carmina están muy bien surtidos con sendos pollones, sin embargo se rumoreaba que Enrique Ponce necesitaba relleno para poder marcar paquete. Y no me pregunten mis fuentes porque no pienso revelarlas, pero me ha llegado de muy buena tinta que el miembro de Eduardo Zaplana es de los que asusta. La duda está en, conociendo la vanidad de los políticos, si es natural o habrá pasado por el quirófano. En cuanto a la realeza y nuestro príncipe Felipe, para tener esas manos y esos pies, la cosa no parece estar a la altura. Y de Cristiano Ronaldo (en la foto) no pienso comentar nada porque no es español y el Coure y la foto seleccionada ya lo insinúan todo.

188 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

El pollón de Alex Gonzalez, la polla-ni-fu-ni-fa de David Delfín y la mini-mini, pero mini-mini, de...quien lo adivina?

maria de la o dijo...

De Zapatero

Anónimo dijo...

te equivocas: la de José Mari, el alucinado y grimoso José Mari que además de horrendo, tiene una micro polla, pero micro-micro y torcida hacia la derecha.
Y pa qué?

pintón dijo...

Nancy y Madame M, es el momento de que den la cara y nos cuenten lo que saben del tema, por favor. Háganlo por su audiencia que nos tienen en ascuas.

Anónimo dijo...

Ay, Nancy, mejor que se calle usted que a mi me da mucho miedo.
Vade retro, Nancy, que se pueden caer muchos mitos

maria de la o dijo...

Y la de Alejandro Agag? Arrggg, que asco solo de pensarlo.

Anónimo dijo...

Con Agag ni con un súper pollón, que asco. Es que de Agag no se sabe ni nunca se sabrá el tamaño de su polla; quién- aparte de anita- alguna vez se ha acostado con Agag?
Agag es asqueroso.
uaaaaaaa.

evasivas dijo...

Bien, Pintón, por primera vez tengo algo que reprocharte, y es que me has dado mucha, pero muchísima, más información de la que necesito.

A ver como me quito yo de la cabeza el dato sobre Zaplana cada vez que asome a un medio de comunicación.

Caray, que una es muy sensible!

chiquinho dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
Anónimo dijo...

Pintón, nos obligas a preguntarte qué tal andas tu de manguera?

Anónimo dijo...

Mario Vaquerizo no tiene polla, tiene pililia.

Anónimo dijo...

Mario Vaquerizo no tiene polla, tiene pilila.

RimbY dijo...

Not names, just do it!

Bye love!

p.d Merci por lo del restaurant

A blow job in Manchester United dijo...

No revelas el tamaño de Cristiano Ronaldo para no levantar envidias masculinas o simplemente para alimentar fantasías?

julia! dijo...

my suuuuper dear pinton,
at a very nice end i´m writing you the comment tou´ve been waiting for...
firstly, i am soooo sorry i didn´t write before but i didn´t have a computer as i was in riaño (un pueblo perdido en el que unos señores disfrazados por la calle te pegan con una bolsa llena de aire) and biarritz with my family...
secondly, estaba en la libreria de riaño y te queria dejar un comentario. entonces estaba leyendo el INTERESANTIIISIIIIMO articulo que has escrito sobre the penus sizes y llega la encargada de la libreria y me dice que a esta libreria no se viene a ver porno y que soy una descarada etc...so she wanted me to pay a bill!!i was about to kill myself because i didn´t have any monney appart from 20 cents...but at the end, she realized that the girl in front of her wasn´t a perv but an amazing young princess that didn´t know that the contents of the web page she was on were SO erotic..osea que me perdono la multa y me pidio disculpas!!
thirdly, that i am hoping to share some "mojitos" with you once again!
tambien te queria decir que la penultima vez que te vi pense que erafs super serio y elegante y el tipico que no confia en nadie y super orgulloso (como mr. dursey en pride and prejudice)pero la ultima vez (larita)me lo pase de miedo con tigo y vi que me equivocaba!
also that for some people we are actually brother and sister and for other people you are trying to "llevarme al huerto!"
at last my dear pinton, i love you SO much and i have to communicate you something amazing!!

adios mi queridiiiiisiiiimo hermaniiitooo!!!y no te preocupes que los otros chikinhos no tienen nada que ver!

Eres tres tres amazing et je t`aime a lot!!

P.S: que conste que este pedazo texto no se lo escribo a cualquiera!!

julie!

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Bonjour, elrincondepinton.blogspot.com!
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